A revelation of sorts

Okay, so a bit of a history of my dating past...

In highschool I never dated anyone. I think it is because I kept on getting crushes on my guy friends and never really did anything about it since they were friends. coincidentally two of them have since come out of the closet so I don't take it personally that they didn't reciprocate feelings. I'll chalk that up to a gaydar lesson.

So University started and all the sudden I was surrounded by new faces and I started dating the Ex Boyf in November of first year. we dated for about 5 months and then broke up. It took me a while to get over him (like probably another 5 months or so... first love, etc...). While I still wasn't over him, I kind of dated a guy, IW, in the summer of 1B. I broke it off when I realized he was just a rebound guy and I wasn't all that interested... So now for the revelation... A memory that I must have supressed for some reason, I didn't remember it until Sunday night. After IW in the summer of 2000 (way long ago I know), another guy expressed interest in me, but I had had my "not-over-ex" revelation, so I had to shoot him down.

By the time I was finally over the ex sometime in that fall co-op term, I was a changed person. I don't know what it is, I certainly can't isolate what happened, I guess I just lost my spark, my outgoing personality, etc. Back in first year (and before), I was always a social butterfly and loved interacting and meeting new people. I could talk to people I didn't know for hours, but I lost that somewhere along the way. And I want it back. So this is what I need to work on. I want my spark back! (this is my revelation)

Two other things to note. On C-dubs urging I e-mailed MCB last night, hopefully he gets back to me, if not, at least I don't have much emotional investment. Slightly less interesting is this, third post in three days. Oooooh, consistancy. Mrs. JB did you get your package yet?